I have been saddened by the growing prevalence of what I’ve come to call McSpirituality – the fast-food, empty calorie version of the road to “enlightenment” that seems to be so prevalent nowadays, especially in the Social Media.

We want it served fast - a week-end seminar if we must, but better if it could be a one-hour webinar in the comfort of our own home (and better yet if it’s recorded so that we can listen/view it at a time that’s convenient for us.).

We want it easy – we’ll do some exercises, if you insist, but even better if it’s just some inspirational lecture that gets us excited and makes us feel exhilarated.

We want it to leave us with a full belly – we’ll settle for feeling emotionally purged, but better yet if it promises to fill all our material wishes. (This is, after all, the United States of America!) Real spiritual nourishment isn’t essential, as long as we feel full.

We want to have it our way – we Baby Boomers are, after all, the most self-involved generation in the recorded history of the planet. Why shouldn’t we believe that the Universe exists solely to fulfill my individual wishes, regardless of the cost to anyone else?

The purveyors of McSpirituality are easy to spot. They are Marketers in Guru’s clothing.

They will promise anything necessary to make the sale (payment, of course, is always due in advance of any results).

They’ll tell you that getting everything you’ve ever wanted is quick and easy, as long as you buy their product.

They’ll tweet you silly with quotes from online quote-machines that have no context. (Especially from Einstein. Apparently, the one sure way to prove that you’re really “deep” is to quote Einstein.)

They’ll Facebook you ‘til their blue in the face – posting about their marvelous events, messaging you about their marvelous events, re-messaging you to remind you that they messaged you about their marvelous events, re-re-messaging you to remind you that their marvelous event is taking place in only an hour, re-re-re-messaging you to tell you that their event is over, but not to worry – it’s recorded and you can download their marvelous event here.

But here’s the surest sign that you’re dealing with a Spiritual Marketer (known quaintly in the old days as Snake Oil Salesmen): In the laceType>landlaceType> of laceName>McSpiritualitylaceName> failure is always YOUR fault. All it takes to get whatever you want is to wish hard enough for it. So, if you’re told that you’re not getting results because you’re not wishing hard enough (and that a course on getting past the obstacles to wishing hard enough is available for a slight additional fee), then just look over your shoulder: Out the window you’ll see a pair of golden arches and a sign that says “Billions and Billions Served”.

My sadness has two deep roots:

1. The reason people are so susceptible to McSpirituality is that there is a genuine hunger in the world today for spiritual growth. It is the most heartening development of the last hundred years. But the attention of people truly seeking spiritual nourishment is being diverted by the spiritual fast-food joints.
   
   
2. These spirit-burgers ought to come with a warning: “Please be aware before consuming this product of the Law of Unintended Consequences.” Many of these offerings have their roots in deep truths that are often poorly understood by the practitioners. For ages, tales of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice and the Genies in the Arabian Nights have warned us to be careful of what we wish for, especially if we have not done the due diligence necessary to make that wish and deal with its consequences.

Here’s the long and the short of it: Life is very, very simple, but not all easy. We have all emanated from the simplest being in all the Creations: The One. The One is, by definition, pure simplicity. Our spiritual path is a road to return us to that simplicity. But we have traveled so far down the road in the opposite direction, unnecessarily complicating our lives to try to assuage our appetites, that the road back is not at all easy.

If someone tries to tell you that Wisdom is complex, don’t believe them.

But … if someone tries to tell you that the road to Wisdom is easy, don’t believe them.

And if someone tries to feed the worst addiction in the modern world, the need for speed, by offering to serve up “The Truth” quickly, then turn away.

After all, what’s the hurry? When I hear about how we will all be enlightened momentarily, or how the world will end in 2012, etc., I remind myself that the Universe is really only four days old (give or take a few hours).

I think of this Universe, and all other Universes, as playgrounds that we incarnate into so that we can exercise our “Beings” and grow. As Universes go, this is the “E Ticket” ride. (If you’re old enough to recognize that reference, please raise your hand. If you’re not, Wikipedia “E Ticket”.) What makes it such a deluxe thrill-ride is the Law of Entropy – the physical nature of this Universe that makes things “not easy”. We get to really work out and grow in this Universe. That’s why it’s such a popular ride to incarnate into.

But, as rides go, this one hasn’t been around very long.

The Universe feels old to us because we are the inheritors of the Ancient Greek maxim that “Humans are the measure of all things.” We reduce everything around us into human terms, even the Universe itself.

To the best that modern science can tell, this Universe has been around for 13.7 billion years. In our minds, we tend to look at that in purely human terms. The current life expectancy for a human in the U.S. is 77.7 years. So if humans are the measure of all things, then this Universe has been around for 176,319,176 modern human lifetimes. No wonder it seems to be very, very old – old enough that aren’t we all getting tired of this ride, and isn’t it time to wrap it up and move on to some other plane of existence?

But how old is the Universe in its own terms? What is the life expectancy of the Universe as a playground we can incarnate into and play around on the Jungle Gym of the Law of Entropy?

Well, the sun will burn out in a few billion years. And while that will eliminate this solar system as a useful place to incarnate into, there are lots of other places in the Universe.

In about 150 billion years, the expansion of the Universe will increase to the point where the Milky Way will no longer be able to even see light from any galaxy outside of the Local Group. While that will place our galaxy on an island, stars will still form within the Milky Way and other galaxies, providing many fresh new environments to grow into.

In about 100 trillion years, the expansion of the Universe will reach a point where new stars cannot form. Without the energy of stars to drive the processes of life and help us climb uphill against the drag of entropy, the useful life of the Universe as a playground will have essentially reached its end.

So for our purposes, let’s take the lifespan of the Universe as 100 trillion years. Now, what fraction of that 100 trillion years is the 13.7 billion years since its birth? By that reckoning, the Universe has progressed 0.01% into its anticipated lifespan. It’s very, very young!

Let’s bring it back to human terms. The point at which a human has gone through 0.01% of its anticipated 77.7 years is when it is 3.88 days old. So, if we really want to look at the Universe in human terms, it is really only about 4 days old.

How much development has a human baby experienced in only four days? It is astonishing that we have been fortunate enough to incarnate at the very dawn of this Universe’s existence. We are the vanguard of the Universe infusing itself with Spirit. But at the equivalent of only four days into its lifespan, is it surprising that the Universe seems to have so far to go in terms of manifesting spirituality? Do we really think it is likely that this process of spiritual development is meant to end any time soon?

Todd hated getting ready for bed. He was tired and just wanted to go to sleep. Why did he have to bother with all this stuff when all he wanted was for his head to hit the pillow so he could drift off to Dreamland?

Still, he knew there were things he just had to do so he dutifully unscrewed the cap on his toothpaste and squeezed the tube. To his utter amazement, a cloud of smoke poured out of the tube. When the smoke cleared, Todd saw a brilliantly shining figure of a bearded man in a turban floating in the air before him.

"I am the Genie of the Tube," the luminous form said. "What is thy desire, O Master?"

"A Genie?" Todd was stunned. "I didn’t think you guys hung out in tubes of toothpaste."

"It’s a new innovation," the Genie replied. "I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but not many people rub oil lamps anymore. We’re test-marketing new ways to reach our public."

"Wow! Do I still get wishes?"

"Of course," the Genie assured him. "We’re only changing our distribution channels. The product remains the same."

"How many wishes do I get?" Todd demanded to know. He knew Genies could be tricky, and he didn’t want to miss any of the fine-print.

"As a special promotion because we’re testing these new modalities, you get an unlimited number of wishes."

Todd was suspicious. "You’ve got to be kidding. Unlimited wishes?"

"Absolutely!" said the Genie. "Look, I’ve got nothing up my sleeves."

Todd saw that this was literally true. In fact, the Genie had no sleeves, wearing only an embroidered felt vest.

"And there’s no obligation on my part?"

"We only ask that you fill out a short survey when you’re done with our service, but it’s completely voluntary."

"Well," Todd said, "OK! You’ve got a deal."

As he crawled into bed next to his already-sleeping wife, Todd had a broad smile on his face. He could hardly wait to get to sleep and dream of all he would wish for.

The next morning as the rude buzz woke him out of a wonderful dream, Todd found himself wishing he didn’t have to be woken up by the alarm clock every morning.

Todd’s wife was already downstairs feeding the kids their breakfast as Todd trudged out of bed and went to the bathroom to take care of his morning grooming. He squeezed the tube of paste, but no Genie emerged. He wondered whether he had just dreamed the whole thing.

Todd went through his normal commute, his normal workday, and his normal evening with the wife and kids. But when he began getting ready for bed and squeezed the tube of paste, the smoke once more emerged, and there before him was the shining Genie.

"I thought I’d just imagined you when you didn’t come out of the tube of paste this morning," Todd told him.

"Even Genies get time-off," the Genie said, a bit surly.

"You’re in a bad mood," Todd noted.

"Well, I’ll tell you," the Genie shot back, "I’m finding a tube of toothpaste makes an oil lamp look like the Taj Mahal. My back is killing me!"

"You’re not backing out of our deal?" Todd cried with alarm.

"No, no, Master. A deal’s a deal. Whatever you wish for, you will receive."

Todd went to bed with a broad smile on his face once more.

The next thing Todd knew, he was in the bathroom, his shaver in his hand. He was apparently getting ready for the day. How had that happened? He could not remember the alarm going off at all.

And then Todd remembered that the day before he had wished that he didn’t have to wake to the alarm. His wish had come true! This thing really worked!!! Todd was giddy with the thought of all he could wish for.

Todd began to shave and he realized how much he hated his morning grooming rituals. He hated shaving. He hated brushing and flossing his teeth. He hated showering. "I wish I didn’t have to go through all this in the morning to get ready for work," he wished fervently.

When Todd woke up the next morning, he found himself down at breakfast with Shirley and the kids. He was already shaved, showered, brushed, and flossed – totally ready for his workday. "This is terrific!" Todd thought.

But his good mood lasted only briefly as he got annoyed at the racket the kids were making and his wife calling to him over the loud sizzling of the bacon about all the things she needed him to do. He wished he didn’t have to go through that in the morning.

When Todd woke up the next morning, he found that he was already in the car, headed to work. He felt relaxed and at ease, a wonderful lack of tension. That is, of course, until a couple of drivers cut him off as they rushed to work, and then he ran into a traffic jam when one of the frantic drivers caused an accident with another car. As he sat in his car, waiting for the jam to clear, Todd wished he didn’t have to deal with this terrible commute every day.

The next day, Todd woke to find himself already at work. But his joy at this was only fleeting because soon a co-worker told him that a deliverable Todd was depending on would be late, his boss yelled him for the delay in getting the product to market, and lunch at the company cafeteria that day was liver.

"I wish I didn’t have to work," Todd found himself thinking.

The next day Todd woke to find himself at dinner with his family. "Is it just me," Todd wondered, "or do the days seem to be getting shorter?"

As Todd tried to watch the news report to see what he had missed during the days, the kids bothered him to help them with their homework or to play with them, and his wife insisted that he talk to her to deal with the issues he had been ignoring. Todd wished he could just go to sleep without having to deal with these hassles every night.

The next day Todd didn’t wake up at all. It was weird. He seemed to be stuck in some sort of Dreamland, but he could not awaken. As if from a very far distance, he could hear his wife speaking to someone. They seemed to be planning Todd’s funeral! He wanted to shout at her that he was not dead, just sleeping!!! But he could not awaken.

Then, through the mists of Dreamland, Todd could see what appeared to be the smoky form of his Genie. "What have you done to me?" Todd demanded.

"Only what you wished for, O Master."

Todd realized, sadly, that this was true. By wishing his challenges away, he had wished his life away.

The Genie held out a sheet of paper a pen and said, "Would you be willing to fill out the short survey?"

Todd took the survey and saw that it had only one question: "What would you have done differently?"

In the lined spaces below the question, Todd wrote, "Instead of wishing those things away, I wish I had just wished to do them better."